Sweetassgal here! Ok…I’ve had a few days to absorb Sunboy1’s “list” and I decided its about time to come out for our side! (Thanks to our Main Gay Daniel for the extremely thought provoking original post that has inspired this very honest and hopefully accurate response).
Sunboy1 may know both men and women but I have an insight he can’t compete with…I have a vagina! Yes people…I’m speaking up on behalf of the always spot on Va-Jay-Jay. Personally, mine tells me all I need to know about life and of course love. No…it doesn’t actually speak to me (that would just be gross) but I strongly believe the power of a woman comes from that special place God has given her and if she lets her instincts guide her it’ll never stear her wrong. So why is it that in having this awesome feminine power we often times go so awry when it comes to dealing with the special someone in our lives? Well…its my belief that we don’t just SPEAK up and tell our guys (or gals if the case may be) what it is we really need, think, feel…whatever it is that is plaguing you. We are brought up not to offend someone, or hurt their feelings and are programmed to put others needs before our own. NO MORE! You are a beautiful, deserving woman and its time to STAND up and be heard! So here goes my list…
#1 – I’m just going to say what you aren’t supposed to say...SIZE DOES MATTER. I’m sorry but it does. I’m not saying a man needs to look like he’s smuggling haggis in his pants but trust me from (some) experience…if you can’t even feel it…it ain’t doin’ ya NO good! Guys know it, girls know it…even educated fleas know it (love ya’ Cole Porter) so you might as well be honest about it. In love with a guy who’s more gerkin than deli kosher? That’s OK. Just let him know there are lots of other things that will get your bells and whistles going (hey…that’s a thought too!).
#2 – Girls tell other girls EVERYTHING. Yes…we do. Know this guys and get over it because once the wine starts flowing there is just about NOTHING that won’t be shared, giggled over and yes…even rated. From the awkward first time you tried to french kiss us and ended up with your tongue in our ear to the funny sounds and faces you make in bed. It’s all up for a gabfest and trust me…every girls man gets a turn.
#3 – Not all women are wanna be porn stars. Get over the fantasy. We are real women who want real sex with real men in real life. And no matter how much you beg no woman really wants to star in your amateur home movies…because even if the thought IS a little sexy we all know that actually SEEING ourselves on screen doing THAT is JUST TOO TRAUMATIC! I don’t need to see what my jiggly parts looks like when I’m “in flagrante’ delicto!”
#4 – Women are complicated. REALLY, REALLY complicated. And being such we have many different sides and quite possibly a different personality to go with each so you’d might as well learn how to deal with each now. We want a man who is smart and sensitive in front of our friends, polite and respectful in front of our parents, silly and sweet around our kids, downright cocky and charming in front of our EX and and all around freaky SEX god in the bedroom (freaky in the good way…not the kind that gets you famous on the internet)!
#5 – STOP whining about how many pairs of shoes, bags or tubes of lipstick we own. Its our thing and its never going to change. I personally LOVE every single pair of shoes I own (like my own little spikey, strappy, embellished children) and to ask me to give them up is asking for a CHOO to the CHIN! Besides…if you add up the $ on every pair of shoes I have and compare to the cost of mens sportscars, motorcycles, toy haulers, sand rails, quads and motocross bikes its a mere pittance. If you want to survive you’ll lay off the shoes and focus on a problem that can be more easily fixed…like peace in the Middle East!
That’s said here’s the nice things you may not know that you should…because we love you.
#1 – We don’t need you to solve our problems for us…we get all the comfort we could want from the soft embrace of your arms. That’s the best thing you can do for us!
#2 – We truly do think you’re sexy when you first wake up in the morning. Tousled hair, scruffy grin and boxers hanging halfway off your cute butt…morning sex anyone!?!?
#3 – We don’t want to “do” your friends so stop worrying about it. You are all we need!
#4 – We don’t tell you often enough how wonderful you are and how lucky we are to have you in our life.
#5 – You look great after just a shower, shave and quick wardrobe change…and secretly we hate you for it!
Any other secrets we need to let the men in on ladies? SPEAK UP and let us know your secret female desires, wishes and needs.
Stories are encouraged because I love reading your wit and wisdom. GLAM ON!!!!!!!