Meg here! I’m pretty sure that something is in retrograde. Isn’t that the excuse? The stars are out of sync? I’ve had a bad week and I haven’t really dealt with it very well so the only thing that’s been out of sync really has been me.
When I get upset with myself I play scenario’s out over and over in my head and each time I do it it gets worse. I don’t know if it’s being left-handed, or “creative” or overly-sensitive but I’ve been told I “live in my head too much.” It can’t just be me? I have lots of girlfriends and we all do it to some point.
I have been trying to “move out of my head.” I’ve decided, why drive myself crazy when I have friends that I can send over the edge instead? I mean, there has to be some perks to communal living. Every time I spoke to them I was “so stupid” or a “total moron” and I really just trashed myself. I’m lucky I have good friends because they were having none of it “you made a mistake. You apologized. You felt bad. Now let it go.” True right?
It’s the exact same advice I would have given them. It just seems that sometimes the very worst relationship that we have is with ourselves. I know I need to definitely work on mine. The names I was calling myself I would have never said or thought if one of my girlfriends were telling me the same story. When judging ourselves it’s pretty amazing how brutal we can be.
I’m going to try really hard to not do this anymore. I wonder if I should wear one of those rubber bands around my wrist and snap-it when I think a negative self thought? They say it works to help cut smoking down… With my luck I’d try this technique, have a really bad day and have people think I’m into self mutilation.
I’m going to practice my new mantra today!
I’m going to have a good day today. My car was gone in the shop since JANUARY when a Hummer ran into me. I had gotten it back 4 days ago. I lent it to a friend who needed to borrow a car for the day. I got a call that a Range Rover had smashed into my car and it was basically totaled.
Instead of screaming at myself for being “stupid” to lend my car I’m going to go with “nice” for helping someone out and the situation is bad. Not me.
Wait, this is easy.
Later that night I get myself into a situation that is admittedly a lot of my fault. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I was already a bit stressed out and probably should have stayed in.
I apologized. I meant my apology and as my friends pointed out “You really aren’t the only one at fault here.” In my head though, I was.
I’m not saying we all get a hall pass to walk around like a bunch of asses. I’m just saying that when it happens (and it will happen.) you can’t drive yourself nuts with it.
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend don’t say it to yourself. I can hear Goddess Granny all the way from Texas saying “Oh Lord, what happened now?”
So my great day is going to include, taking totaled car to body shop. Trying to figure out a tax bill. Get a replacement debit card for the one I lost. Buy knocked up dog baby gate and wee-wee pads. As you can see it’s going to be an amazing day! I’m going to tell myself that! Because, you see, sometimes the things that you tell yourself aren’t really true.
What do you think? Who are you hardest on, yourself or other people?