Meg here! I love this stuff! If there was ever a reason for your girlfriends to join Megsmakeup.com
beyond the support and funny funny and make-up reviews this is it. We can be downright nasty ugly with the truth. As Mary Poppins said “Served down with a teaspoon of sugar.” So don’t get angry and write me mean emails and don’t act surprised. Big Girls read Megsmakeup Life is life, arm yourself with knowledge and USE IT TO YOUR POWER!
I met Daniel in a Jo Malone’s store years ago. He knows product, he knows fashion he knows women! Guess what? He knows men. I know? How weird, but he is one? He has an amazing blog called Man That’s Fraiche! I put him on assignment…It went like this
Meg: OK for the love of God, just be brutally honest and send us and article called “What Straight Men Wont Tell You.” Seriously, don’t feel bad. It is just so better to know the truth. WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Daniel: I’ll do it. I’ll be super honest but what if it upsets the Megheads?
So here it is ladies! Try not to throw your computer across the floor and can we love Daniel for being so honest with his thoughts!
Hi ladies! I’m Daniel, your Main Gay One of the joys of being a gay man is that I am in touch with my feminine side and get women but I’m still a guy so I also get men. In all my years of hanging out in the straight world and seeing what guys do to you girls I’ve learned a thing or two and now I’m here to tell you all I know. Guys are a tricky creature. They’re just as finicky if not MORE finicky than women, they love to gossip with their guy friends even though they would never call it that, to them it’s just “shootin’ the shit” but I hear more trash talking at a superbowl party than I do at the salon when my bff is getting her hair did. I don’t mean to discourage you, if anything I’m here to empower you with the secrets of the lesser sex so you will have that much more power over them
1.One of the funniest things they’ll never fess up to (unless they’re the dbag gym rats that is) is when they come back from the gym and they say they worked out really hard…yeah, that means an hour on the elliptical watching Tyra!
2.They just want sex. If he seems interested in your little yorkie “Tinkerbell”, how mean the lady was to you at the nail salon when she was talking smack about you to her co-workers in another language, your list of everything you ate today, etc. etc. he’s not! He’s waiting patiently to pounce! And pounce he will! And once he gets in your panties forget about getting his attention again until little man is begging for more attention.
3.He totally has a problem with you making more money than him. It’s not your fault he doesn’t have the drive to get a good job and make more money! (if he had a Jimmy Choo, Shiseido, Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Christian Louboutin, Louis Vuitton addiction maybe he would have the drive!)
4.Have you ever heard that one joke about the four men every woman needs in her life?I can’t really remember the rest of the joke but guys are pretty much the same. They will never tell you that they want a big bootie girl in bed, a skinny girl at the beach/pool, a conservative girl around their parents, beer drinking and cool chick around friends and a plain Jane without any make-up when no one is around.
5.They just want sex. Oh wait, did I already say that? Well, they do, and that is what takes up about 97% of their thoughts on a daily basis (the other 3% is broken up between eating, beer, video games, sports, peeing and you) Again, I don’t mean to discourage you but if your best friend is hot, if your mom is hot, if your sister is hot…they want to do her. Not to be unfaithful they just can’t help it. Little Man has the bigger brain for the most part.
6.He was just looking at her boobs! If you catch your guys eyes wandering there were boobs walking by. That’s it. I think there is some sort of “bubbies” A.D.D. or something that men are prone to have.
7.They don’t want to cuddle, they don’t want to talk, they just spewed out 2 tablespoons of their brains! (note: men typically only have about 3 tablespoons of brain at any given moment…figure it out)
8. If he is 100% positive he will not get caught ALMOST every single guy will cheat. If you’re the “other woman” he will 8 times out of 10 not leave his wife for you. It happens in all the movies and the T.V. shows, we know this is the way it goes and yet we still hope and pray for the “not gonna happen” to happen.
9.No straight guy has girl friends that are just friends. They want to sleep with you. They might say you guys can just be friends and might not ever even do anything about it but believe me, they want to sleep with you. (are you noticing a slight pattern here? Men are definitely walking hard-ons)
Okay, I’ve been somewhat of a Debbie Downer so let me finish off by telling you some sweet things he’ll never admit or tell you….
1.Your smile lights up his day.
2.He feels very lucky to have you in his life.
3.He’s thankful to have found you.
4.He loves it when you are in just a pair of panties and one of his button up shirts or a pair of his boxer briefs and nothing else or any other combination of his things and your things on a relaxed day at home.
Well, that about sums it up for me and my little list of things you’ll never hear from your guy. What do you think? Do you have a guy that’s an exception? Have you noticed these things in your guy and now know for a fact your assumptions were true? Let me know what you think.
I do have to give a shout-out to my best friend Lizzette and her hunk of a boyfriend Aram for helping me out with this task because I wanted this to be as factual as possible, and me not being a straight man who typically keeps things like these a secret from you ladies wanted to be sure to get an Alpha-Males point of view. Hope I didn’t break too many “man codes”
Argue or agree with me? Am I right or am I right?