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meghappyIt’s funny but not in a “Ha Ha” funny sort of way, more of a funny “I’m a girl and this may be your experience” as well. Facebook has ruined Meg’s relationship and I’m not alone. It’s widespread. “When Facebook gets involved, relationships can quickly fall apart – as Hosni Mubarak and Muammar Gaddafi have discovered. But dictatorships are not the only ties being dissolved by social networking sites: now Facebook is increasingly being blamed for undermining American marriages.” I would bore you with the facts but know this, Facebook is the end for a player’s game.

Ugh! Meg Not again! Not another one! I’m sorry “oops I did it again!” I want to thank Facebook for being the friend that would speak to you “in reason,” and then you’d get mad at the friend. So much easier when the friend is a social networking site. No, I was never the friend that got mad, I was always the friend that was mad at. Thank-you Mark Zuckerbrg for being everyone’s fall guy. Been there, know it’s a tough role to play.

As a stalker, I love Facebook. There is no better stalking avenue out there. I can spend hours looking at classmates and judging them from my laptop. No harm no foul, I’m sure they’re judging me as well “Well, this one never seemed to grow up.”

I look at mean ex-classmates that have seemed to eat themselves and multiply and lose hair (love that.) I look at people I was envious of and think “Oh God, could you even imagine?” Once in a while I come across a nice picture where friends look genuinely happy and I feel a tinge of jealousy “Why isn’t it so easy?”

This line always resonates in my head “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” I knew I chose an off-beat path, one I believe in, but one that could never be described as “easy.” Does it suck? No. Does it sometimes suck, yes.

More then anything, my life can be quite lonely. I work in solitude most of the time and for that, the men that reach out to me are…creeps. I work at home and do interviews and attend great parties at night which would fill the chapters of a Sex and The City book-except I’m not having sex. Has anyone that ever wrote one of these books actually been to one of these parties? Who am I having “sex” with? The gay coat check? Give me a break.

No, in real life, even in Meg life. Things don’t work out like they do on HBO. How do I? The funniest, hottest, most fabulous woman ever (SHUT UP YOU MEANIE) meet someone? Well, it’s a new sexy thing, we try through our friends…And then Facebook ruins it. Thanks Mark. I mean, I love you. Call me.

I didn’t even want a “commitment.” I thought it was a ridiculous goal. I’m in LA, He’s in NYC. I was resistant. I really was. I’m in NYC a lot of the month. Things happened and progressed and before I knew it, I had a boyfriend on the other side of the country. Yeah, that keeps you warm at night…Awesome.

But so awesome! The flip side was-for at least two weeks I could get work done, I could plug on the show, I could miss him. We could have a gorgeous vacation relation! Just when things got a bit weird or when he got on my nerves (or on his-like that happened) I’d be on the next flight. Just over Ohio I would forget and begin pining for him again. Great fake relationship.

The things that would annoy me greatly would disappear once I reached Michigan, by Vegas he was the love of my life. As the plane touched down in Los Angeles I was thinking of my move. The only move I should have made was to my laptop. It says so much and really you don’t have to wait in airports.

Burn! I was burned by Facebook. Actually, I’m going to support the NRA here “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Replace guns with “facebook.”

I’m touching on something that I think a lot of you can relate to, it’s a new dating age and I’m not really into it. Does he treat me fantastic? Yes. Do I have fun with him? Yes. Does the fact he wants to keep his facebook page looking as though he’s a bachelor bother me. Yes. Has he changed it the numerous times I’ve brought it up? No. Am I moving on? You bet your ass I am.

Will I miss him? Sure I will. Would I miss myself and my convictions more? I think so. Would I ever want to feel funny or compromised? Never. Does that make my decision? Yup.

So Facebook has put and end to this chapter. It may seem presumptive but I call it telling. If the man in your life is not willing to tell the world that you are the woman in his life-then you’re not.

Suck it up, take the blow to your ego and keep going. You and I deserve to be with someone that’s proud to show you off! Believe me, he is out there! The only crime is to settle below what you’re worth!

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