It’s the end of the day and I’ve started cocktail hour. Here’s a Random Tandem Meg Thought.
Hair is like men, the grass is always greener. I married HOM, he works a million hours a week. He’s brilliant and as attentive as he can be while running two companies. I love him, sometimes I think of the less ambitious man that could spend more time with me.
I have model hair (I know this because I was one). Fashion loves my hair. My hair is the same that Kate Moss sports. Stick pin straight, thin and long. Fashioned loved my hair because they loved my body. It was stick pin straight, thin and long.
I did everything I could to try to get some curves. I was 16, I drove to GNC and I bought Weight Gain 2000. I would drink those calorie filled shakes like there was no tomorrow.
What was the result? Nothing. I asked my friends “Do I look different to you? They would shrug and ask me if I had lost weight. Greenie can chime in that I used to eat 2 spaghetti dinners and 2 order of fries at Papa Gino’s and still see no tip of the scale
All I wanted was to not look like a 12-year-old boy. That’s it.
The lowest point? I was actually at a topless beach in South Beach, Miami and overheard the towel next to me say “Why does that boy have on a bikini? Sigh, there was no point. I was five foot nine and 91pounds without an eating disorder. Sexy was not in my future.
I moved to LA and the first thing I did was get my boobs done. The doctor was hesitant to do them. He said “Just eat-they’ll come.”
I explained that all I do is eat and I’ve seen nothing. I’m not a patient person but come on. I saw no change no matter how much Ben & Jerry’s I consumed. I’ve had enough “Wavy Gravy” to be my own, personal tsunamai.
I asked for a full B cup/small C cup. This was inserted in me. Like Murphy’s Law I put on 25 pounds after the operation. I am now a Double D or E cup.
My point to all this drivel is, how dumb are we? Surely not as dumb as I, but the pressures to be a Barbie is intense. The result of my new boob job? The very lucrative and exclusive modelling agency out of New York dropped me. The reason my former agent gave me was “We’re high fashion, your job is to be the living hanger we drape the clothes on. It’s about the clothes and the designer, not about Megan’s great tits.
Ouch but right. I was a flipping high fashion model that was paid to smile and walk. That wasn’t enought to make me feel secure as a woman? Being paid to be pretty? I still felt I needed surgery because I did not meet a “sexy standard”? I look back on that and it makes me sad.
Why couldn’t I be comfortable in my own skin? Being paid to be beautiful wasn’t anything I relished in. I was still trying to fix and be “perfect”.
I understand all the images in ads are photoshopped. At the ripe age of 17 I was photoshopped
Stop comparing yourself to photos that don’t even look like the model. No one looks like that.
There was a study done with men and women. They had to undress and write about what they saw. Men put down that they were actually 10 pounds lighter then they were. No shocker here, women wrote down they were 10 pounds heavier then they actually were.
I don’t have nice hair. I just don’t-it’s thin, it’s gray it’s blaah.
I dye it every 3 weeks. I need a fab conditioner. I went to my beauty supply store and they were out of my favorite, expensive Terax Crema Conditioner. The straight girls want to be curly, the curly want to be straight. The brunettes want to be blondes, the blondes want to be smart. AARGH.
All that called me was a brand called HALO. Everytime you use it an angel gets its wings. The package is fantastic! At $14 the price is a find. It conditions as well as Terax and my colour seems shinier, I love it for my damaged tresses. Being Barbie is a never ending pursuit. I wish I could say I have learned. I haven’t. I’m still trying to please and (like you) I still spend the lettuce trying to. Damn it.
Here’s what Halo says..“Lipids restore hair’s softness, assist with combability and impart intense shine. Intense humectants bind within the cortex, drenching hair with extremely high levels of moisture for increased flexibility. Halo’s exclusive Illuminating Color ProtectionTM technology seals in hair color to prolong its vibrancy and reflects light to reveal a luminous, radiant glow.
Any other HALO fans out there? Anyone else a neurotic to be Barbie (or Skipper)?