Meg here! I want you all to have a laugh. Seriously, this stuff you can’t make up. So, since I’m single I’ve asked some friends to set me up. I’m not going to apologize for what I’m looking for. I’m not a looks person, I don’t care about age. If you’re going to set me up then the man has got to have, if not piles of money, at least a job and has to have a sense of humor.
This really happened.
John: I have a friend, well not really a friend but this guy I met and he wants to take you out.
Meg: Cool, I’ll go.. What’s he like?
John: He’s kind of funny and he must be smart, he’s older but he does really well and you might like him.
Enough said, sounds good. I show up to meet him at the restaurant he’s chosen. It’s in a tony section of Brentwood, a nice choice and so I do my hair and makeup and go.
There aren’t any fireworks and he is older. I mean he says he’s 60 years old but I think he may even be older then that. He brags to me about his wealth and so I take the bait. I totally bit. “What do you do for a living?”
He proceeds to tell me that his parents are very wealthy and HE GETS AN ALLOWANCE. I don’t know about you but I stopped getting an allowance at age 10. Wait it gets better.
Date: Did John tell you about my past life?
Meg: Oh, Um, No. No, I’m pretty sure he didn’t.
Date: Well, I used to play baseball for the Phillies. (At this point he takes a baseball card out of his wallet and hands it to me.)
I look at the card and in the upper right hand corner it says “Fantasy Camp”
Meg Well, it says “Fantasy Camp” so you didn’t really PLAY for the Phillies. You paid to go to a camp and ypu got to play with them. (At this point Date gets mad and doesn’t understand what I am saying.) Look, its like if I told you I was an astronaut and then you showed up and I handed you a picture of me at spacecamp. It’s not the same thing. Right?
Date: Check please!
Men kill me. I mean they are so funny. I’m blonde this week, I have a boob job, I’m fairly attractive so I must be…An idiot?
I was at a bar in KY the other night and this older man told me that he OWNED Ticketmaster.
Meg: Really? Wow! All this time I thought AIC owned it and Barry Diller runs AIC so I guess I’ve been so dumb and you really are the big cheese!
He wasn’t amused. I was though.
Its so strange but then again..Not really. A man in our society is judged by how tall he is when he stands on his wallet. A woman is judged by how good she looks.
I had a guy say to me “I hear you only date rich men.” My response? “I hear you only date pretty girls.”
It’s not right, superficial breeds superficial but I didn’t make the rules, I’m just observing them. I’m sure there’s someone out there for me that doesn’t have to have a gazillion bucks. I’m really just looking for funny with a job. I don’t look the same way in the morning as I do when I’ve been prepping for a hot night out. I’m sure there’s someone out there that’s funny with a job and OK with that.
If I never find it then that’s cool too. I’m not going to settle for fantasy camp when I believe I can make the majors.
What tips can you give me or did you have your own nightmare date that you want to share with us!! DO TELL!