Sweetassgal here! It’s milestone time here at Megs…my 18 year old son has graduated from High School! I can’t believe it. That little doe eyed boy I met almost ten years ago is all grown up and going off to college this fall. As Miss Truvy from Steel Magnolias says…“Time marches on and eventually you realize its marching across your face!”. Time is definitely going forward…with or without me.
This was glaringly evident to me as I attended the Graduation ceremony Friday night. To be fair, I am understandably much younger than most of the mothers I saw there. However, what I did see was a bit of a magic mirror showing me where I could be 18 years ahead in life should my husband and I be blessed with a child now. I saw the sacrificing moms who have put aside their personal needs, the power moms still keeping up their pilates and Prada…and then the mom who would rather look good and humiliate her child then dress anything less than Pam Anderson on crank.
This chippy was a kicker. I mean seriously something out of Hugh Heffner’s over 45 cast offs half price bin! She was wearing the tiniest of halter tops over a giant enhanced chest that barely covered her “peek-a-boo I see you!” nipples. I mean one slip and its NIP CITY BABY! Her micro-mini was so small she couldn’t even sit down and had to stand the 2 hour ceremony in her 6 inch platform stripper heels (the kind I used to wear for costumes…not family occasions) complaining the entire time about “why they have to take so M F’ing long to get these damn kids graduated”! She cussed like a sailor, yelled at people walking by and talked crap about the women around her. Her poor daughter came by afterwards and freaked over what her mother was was wearing in front of her guffawing friends. That lovely young lady was so embarrassed and I felt for her immensely. Moms can be hot and NOT put their child into therapy!
Now, I’m not saying that once you become a mom or get passed a certain age you can’t be sexy or suddenly you have to turn into Mabel the House Frau…but showing up to a HS grad looking like a Hollywood Blvd hooker is NOT cool and definitely doesn’t scream Mother of the Year. I think what struck me most was her obvious addiction to Ye Ole’ Tanning Bed. For all of her obsessive effort to stay thin, dress young, and hold on to her 20’s like Jon & Kate to their rapidly diminishing dignity she didn’t seem to care that all those years of tanning have left her pre-maturely wrinkled skin hanging off of her bony little frame. She strongly resembled an anorexic Shar Pei in Drag! Again…time marches on for us all, regardless of how much we deny it and baking your skin in a human sized bug zapper is not going to help. SPF girls…its your BEST friend!
I recently found a great organic sunscreen by California Baby that is SPF 30, fragrance free and really gentle on the skin. The only problem is it’s $20 for a 3 ounce tube and that’s not something my wallet can take right now. So I hit the organic aisle at Whole Foods and found an Alba Organics Lavender Sunscreen SPF 30 infused with aloe vera, chamomile and green tea. It soothes, repairs, and protects skin against free radicals and is water resistant, fast absorbing and non-greasy. I tested it out under the 90 degree Sac Valley sun this weekend and at $9 a tube for a full 4 ounces it’s a great organic alternative to pricier brands. They even have a kids version that extols all of the virtues of the Lavender version and has a kid friendly fresh fruit scent.
Anyone else like Alba Organics Lavender SPF 30 sunscreen or do you have a trusted organic brand I should try at an affordable price? Let me know.
Any fun stories about the time Mom picked you up from school in a tube top and ass cheek shorts I’d love to hear them. If we can’t laugh about it what’s the point of surviving adolescent mental scars…right! GLAM ON!!!!!!!!