Gigi Here! Hold your breath—skin care reviews of popular brands are coming. Under our system of law, every item is entitled to a fair trial by a jury of its users. Okay, the first one is . . . wait—sorry, I’m keeping it secret for the time being, but I like it and hope you will as well.
When it comes to mascara, I am particular. No, I am very demanding, brutally and harshly critical. As I type this, I recall kate2004rock’s story of wearing a blue vinyl skirt many years ago and being insulted about her hair on the school bus. Kate, we’ve all been there. My story is similar. I was a majorette beginning in junior high school and took a long time to prepare myself for a popular parade. The boy on whom I had a crush would probably be there. Would he notice me? Would he say anything? I vividly recall marching down the street, with my hair behaving for one of the few times in life. I looked good. Better yet, I didn’t hit myself in the head with the baton for once! He was there. He screamed, “Hey, spider eyes—over here!”
I learned two lessons from that, one encouraging and one humiliating: He noticed me and I was reassured, in his own childish way, that he was smitten, as was I. And I realized that spending half an hour layering mascara did not make me attractive but, rather, freakish. Since that day, I strive to find a product which will enhance my sparse lashes in the most natural way.
As Guns ‘n Roses croons, “Welcome to the Jungle” when it comes to choosing drugstore mascara. The choices are overwhelming, bordering on annoying. Should I go with the neon yellow tube or the bright orange? I thought those which add a basecoat with fibers would work best to augment the scarcity of my own. Perhaps I have chosen the wrong brands and wind up with tiny flecks on my face and a totally artificial appearance. So I’ve pretty much relied on Lancome’s “Definicils” (even the waterproof formula is flexible), Shu Uemura’s “Basic Mascara,” Maybelline’s “Full and Soft” and Cover Girl’s “Marathon Mascara” to last for days (a bad thing to do, but necessary at times). Shu Uemura’s eyelash curler is always used to curl before I use anything.
I was impressed with the packaging of Maybelline’s “Lash Stiletto Ultimate Length Mascara” and chose it. Cleverly designed as a shoe heel (down, Angie!), the brush is amazing. The bristles are far longer and more trim than most, making it able to reach each and every little lash. But Maybelline claims that you will gain “seductive length” and a patent-like shine. My hopes were high, as there is absolutely no clumping or flaking. It was akin to Lancome’s version in this way at a fraction of the cost. My first coat called some attention to my eyes, but there was no increase in length and none in shine. More was definitely necessary. This mascara allows you to build coverage, and so I tried a second coat while the first was still moist, as recommended. Then my memory went directly back to marching in the parade. I wound up with stiff spikes, no gain in size, and absolutely no luster. I’d have to give this productive a mediocre rating at best. If you were born with natural lush lashes, this is for you. For me. it’s a trip to the drugstore for a return and another one to Macy’s. No, I didn’t type that—I don’t shop there. I only frequent drugstores, I promise . . .
Who else needed more kick with their stiletto? What Drugstore Brand is working for you!?