BabyLove here! With the New Year approaching, I’m sure most of you have a few ideas for resolutions that you’re tossing around. I’ve thought of a few, but I have decided on trying to be happy with the way I look. I know it’s not as thrilling as kicking a meth habit, but it’s been something I have been struggling with everyday since my son William was born 3 years ago.
I was 25 when I had William. I gained about 50lbs with my pregnancy, but I never really thought I’d have a hard time losing it. I figured I was 25 years old and my body would bounce back. I got close, but never lost it all. Then, along came Calum. I gained only a little bit of weight, and over the past 18 months have not lost one single pound since returning from the hospital. I’ve had my thyroid checked, my testosterone checked, my B12 checked, my cortisol checked-everything short of checking for a lost medical instrument weighing 17lbs. in my uterus has been checked.
My friends have come home from the hospital and dropped 15lbs. just from peeing and sweating in two weeks. I run close to 20 miles a week, definitely consume less calories than I should, and still, my pre-prego body has never been spotted in the near vicinity of my new larger self. Frustrating, yes! Depressing, yes! Increase in self deprecating jokes, you bet!
Perhaps my body likes my size 12 jeans, and 38DD boobs. While I’m not as enthusiastic, I’ve decided that it’s time to stop beating myself up over it. Even when I was thin, I always wanted to look better or different and I’m tired of it. So this year, I’m going to keep running, keep eating, and keep my head up. I’m going to be the happiest and healthiest size 12 with DD boobs that I can possibly be. I might even stop wearing my husbands sweat pants and break down to buy some of my own clothes, in my new size.
Who else is going to stop beating themselves up over their weight in 2010?