Welcome to another page from my life. I was a majorette in high school and also one with a community band and then became head color guard for my alma mater in my senior year. It was an honor, but band camp was a humiliation and test of character. That’s a kind description. We spent a week in the mountains of Western Pennsylvania each summer, in a place which once held prisoners during WWII!
The walls were tar paper, there were two toilet stalls with half doors for seventy girls which sometimes did not work, running cold-and-colder water if it ran at all, and no showers. The little lake next to the mess hall remained at about forty degrees – that’s where we bathed (clothed). Air conditioning for sizzling days and heat for when the temperature dropped drastically at night? Are you kidding? The part I truly hated was that the insects must have been injected with steroids as they were massive, true “Creatures from the Black Lagoon,” ones for which you could buy leashes to walk! I am phobic over many of these evil creatures, especially spiders. In Heaven I plan to ask God if spiders were truly necessary on earth.
One day I was sitting on the ground with the squad choreographing a dance routine we would perform with small flags. A color guard began to sob from mild sunburn and I had to send her to the nurse. And then another began crying that she was homesick. A third squad member burst into tears and I was becoming more than annoyed. Drama queens don’t impress me. I asked why she was sobbing and the response was, “Because the other two are.” I could have strangled them! What stopped me? Hell, first. And then our band director would have had to choose new squad members and football season was about to begin. We were missing two senior squad members and, finally, out limped Jayne the Clueless with a friend, legs completely swathed in toilet paper. She explained that she used a double-edge new razor on dry leg skin and bled like she had fought in a war (the snazzy comfort-strip triple blades weren’t around then). Her explanation? “I didn’t know to use anything before shaving.”
For a long time I used shaving cream because I could still see Jayne’s bloody gams, but when I’m rushed I shave in the shower with soap. It’s done on one leg as I balance myself with my other. I’ve perfected my pose; I make a perfect pink flamingo and have a matching body suit if you would like to rent me as a lawn ornament in the spring and summer (discounts are available for Megheads).
Meg asked me to review EOS Ultra Moisturizing Shave Cream (for the initiated, EOS stands for “Evolution of Smooth”). I am hooked on the clever, wonderful lip balms they produce. This cream rivals the pleasure of the balms and that speaks volumes. I used it in “Vanilla Bliss” and didn’t know if I should shave with it or consume it – does anyone know the calorie count of such creams? Aloe, oats, Shea butter, and antioxidant vitamins contribute to the creamy texture and your comfort.
One of the best aspects is that this can be used wet or dry (Jayne, you idiot, did you hear that?) It does not go as a foam, but a creamy, easy-to-control lotion. I applied a little more than the directed three pumps because of the fragrance and silky feel. And then I decided to put it to a serious test, a brutal one. I have new and unused disposable razors which terrify me, the kind that can leave you like Freddy Kreuger’s victims. But I opened the pack and cut a swath through the cream. What I didn’t cut was my skin. The ingredients leave a protective film which gives wings to your favorite razor. However, take your time for best results. As my precious mom used to say, “It takes me a long time to get dressed because I have to go slowly around the curves.”
Shave in the opposite direction from the way hair grows – start at the ankles and move up. Throughout my life I’ve run into women who are horrified when others shave above their knees. As far as I know, there are no shaving police and you won’t be damned for eternity. Although you are moisturized, pay attention to areas like ankles and knees in order to avoid nicks and possible infection. The hair on my legs is fair but, left unattended, can grow long enough to be braided. I have zero tolerance for hair where it should not be, and EOS enables you to remove disgusting strands or a hair forest with ease.
Under arms, move gently in all directions until even the shadow of what was there vanishes. Ditto for your bikini area. That can be particularly sensitive, but EOS has you covered!
I rinsed with water afterward and found that a follow-up body lotion wasn’t necessary, as I was already wearing one and kept running my hands over my marble-like results. This gets better:
At Target stores in January, EOS is offering their very generous seven-ounce size pump bottles in the scent of “pomegranate raspberry” for a steal – two for $4.99!
Treat yourself and buy it now, before EOS and Target realize what they are doing! Thank you, EOS, for making the Drugstore Deals Reviewer’s life easy this week.
What do you ladies think of the EOS products?
Which are your favorite scents?